ANGELINA JOLIE, FALLING DOWN AND COCKROACHES

So living in a remote village in the middle of Uganda is not quite as glamorous as I pictured it might be. It’s not that I imagined it would be glamorous so much as I thought my dealing with it would be more…graceful.

I’ve been here for 5 days and I feel like I slipped off one planet and fallen onto another one. Naggalama is a small village along the main road running from Kampala. It is approximately 40 minutes from Setta (where I am now), email access and pseudo-city life. I was insistent upon living in a village, wanted a taste of the Real Uganda and I have it. My apartment is a 5 minute walk from village center. It consists of two cement floored rooms and a small anti-chamber with a drain, my bathroom. It is furnished with local wicker chairs, a wooden coffee table, a bed and a mosquito net. It is actually beautiful to me. I unpacked in a couple of minutes and reveled in the simplicity of it. My place is a swank pad compared to the majority of local homes and I am grateful beyond measure that I have a little haven to retreat to. I have electricity every other night, candles when the power is out. Laying under my net, candles burning (nice fire hazard), listening to my ipod and scanning the walls for bugs is actually very meditative.
The one ‘hitch’ is my toilet or latrine as it is called here. It’s a small stall around the corner from my place. I expected the hole in the ground, the smell, etc…wasn’t quite as prepared for the cockroaches. HUGE cockroaches that stare at me and wiggle their vicious little antennae. When I saw the stall during the day I was so happy, it’s really not that bad. Then I visited it at night…it took me 5 minutes of motivational pep talks, negotiating with the (did I say HUGE) cockroaches and mustering up courage before I could use the hole. Since that time I’ve decided that I will stop drinking liquid after 6pm. My hope is that I will never need to use the loo at night again. I can’t decide if it’s better to face them or have my back to them.

Spent yesterday visiting an even more remote village (who knew they got more remote) while Lawrence, the director of Mumyo (NGO I will work with) spoke to the villagers about government, voting rights, etc… The elections are coming up so this is good work that he is doing. Such a wild, bizarre, incredible experience. The village is in the middle of a sugarcane/tea plantation, the homes are mud huts with a few brick and cement buildings for managers. When we arrived, a woman set up two small stools for us and the villagers began to gather round. It took 20 minutes or so for the word to get out…Lawrence took out a newspaper and read. I sat there and tried to smile while 50 or so people sat and stared at me. Some children began to cry when I waved and smiled at them. Apparently they were afraid because they have never seen someone like me before. Finally Lawrence gave his mini-workshop, then introduced me and had me say a few words. Wow…words just didn’t flow. I think I said ‘thank you, you have a wonderful village, I am here to learn about Ugandans’ and sat down.

After his speech, I felt bolder and asked if I could tour their village. They seemed very excited by that. One woman spoke English, she walked with me and acted as translator. I walked through their village, looked inside their one room homes, waved and smiled. I didn’t know what else to do. The children became bolder too, soon two little ones were holding my hands and the rest of them joined the tour. Some of them touched me like it was a dare, as if I might feel different. One little girl outlined the veins on the top of my hand with great concentration. I was quite moved. The tour wrapped up, I braved their toilet, then headed down the hill with Lawrence. I was walking away, feeling like Angelina Jolie, I turned to wave to the children with a kind, gentle smile on my face and fell right on my ass in the dirt. The kids loved it!!! Laughed hysterically. Took me a second but I laughed too, doesn’t the Universe have an awesome way of reminding us of who we are.

The conditions in the village were unreal. I’m trying to look at life here without the prejudices of my upbringing. It’s tough. The village was torn up, the children were very dirty, they all wore very old, tattered clothing. The people seemed half asleep, kind but hardly vibrant. These were not a hopeful people, it was not a hopeful way of life. Many people do nothing all day here. They do not have jobs, education is too expensive for many, life is bland. I came here wanting to believe that Ugandans were actually very happy people despite their circumstances. I have had many conversations already with Ugandans and that does not seem to be the majority experience.

I think I wanted to come here and find obvious answers to the myriad of problems facing people in Africa. The problems are so overwhelming to me at this point, that I find it difficult to see any solutions. These are early days and I imagine my perspective will change frequently but today I am greatly distressed by what I am seeing. I have found myself wondering why did I end up so lucky? Why do some people have such a tough lot in life? Questions like these have been swirling around my head for the past 2 days. I escaped to Setta today to reconnect with another world to keep my sanity. Questions that have no answers will drive me mad if I dwell in them.

My wise friend emailed me, wrote about paying attention. Perhaps if I pay attention, my work here will become clear to me. I will not be teaching at a school in Naggalama-there is no real school in Naggalama. I’m not sure what I will do. Pay attention I guess.