SERIOUSLY NAÏVE

Last Friday was Sports Day/Visitation Day at the Jim Education Centre, a local orphanage I’ve been hanging out at. All the day students, boarders and orphans were separated into four teams and competed throughout the day for the big prize…a goat. I was approached the day before the event to see if I was interested in providing the goat for the big day. I imagined these lonely little underloved children having a pet goat and couldn’t say no. Turns out they didn’t want the goat for a school pet, the winning team slaughtered it and ate it for dinner after the games. I can still see the look in the poor goat’s eyes as the children gathered around screaming in excitement.

Apart from the goat incident, the day was incredible…I watched in admiration as they used resources like soda bottles, water tubs and sticks to create sporting events. My favorite was filling the soda bottle with water using the mouth as transportation. These kids ran all over this hilly field for the running events, then they jumped over sticks that were literally 6 feet high, all of this was accomplished without shoes, landing pads, etc… I couldn’t help but wonder what some of these children could achieve with proper gear and training.

When the sports were over, parents visited their children’s classrooms, looked at their school marks…kind of like a school’s open house in the States. Many of the children do not have parents that can visit or have parents that for one reason or another choose not to visit. I “visited” a few children, asked them about their grades, looked at their dormitory, then gave them a sheet of stickers, one pencil and 1000 Ugandan schillings (about 60 cents). The kids were so grateful and I’m glad I could do it but a part of me wants to tell the children, you deserve this and so much more.

I spent the night at the Jim Centre on Wednesday and woke as my friend Michelle stormed out of her room into the courtyard where the children gather every morning at 6am for morning prayers. As I slept peacefully, one of the teachers beat 20 children with a stick for being late to prayers…Michelle woke up, tried not to interfere but eventually couldn’t listen anymore. She ran out to the guy with the stick, grabbed his arm and said, “when Jesus met the people at the Temple for prayers, did he beat them for being late?” Jimmy, a 20 year old teacher at Jim, stopped beating the children and started complaining about Michelle. Beating in the schools is not encouraged anymore in Uganda but is still prevalent in village schools. I was advised to turn away if I ever witnessed a beating…things that make you go hmmm. Michelle’s supervisor supported her actions but unfortunately the beatings will continue.

Living in this environment is kind of like participating in a mental marathon. I am constantly asking myself tough questions, wondering why I have been so lucky, wondering why these children have to struggle so much, asking where to begin resolving some of the issues that plague this country (that is actually doing a lot better than most other African nations), questioning whether or not it’s okay to have so much when others have so little…will I ever be able to drink a Starbuck’s Chai Latte without converting the amount it costs into Ugandan shillings and thinking that I could buy two pairs of children’s shoes with the money?

Some days I am simply depressed and overwhelmed by what I see here…disillusioned, disenchanted, sometimes wishing I didn’t know what I know now. But the people here don’t need my sadness…they are not particularly sad themselves. The other night I sat outside my apartment, staring up at the beautiful night sky…my neighbor was singing softly, people were wandering by laughing and chatting to each other…what a moment. I realized that all around me people were with friends and family, they had eaten and they were okay. Granted the food they’re eating has little nutritional value, some of my neighbors probably have malaria, AIDS, etc…but the point is that maybe being fed and being with people you love and who love you, is enough. As I sat there, I knew I was okay. I didn’t need to be anywhere else or worry about what I needed to achieve in my lifetime, how much money I have, the extra pounds that have mysteriously jumped onto my body…I was fed, the stars were beautiful and I have many people who love me and who I love. I also realized that the only thing I truly missed in that moment, was someone to share it with. So I sat with Jonathon and we talked about the stars.

Still here, still learning…