Do you ever feel overwhelmed by the trajedies of the World? I've been reading about the earthquake in Pakistan and the mudslides in Guatemala. So many people have died...I understand that dying is another life experience but the thought of losing this small little existence of my own terrifies me. How can a life just end? The people who died had dreams and hopes. I bet some of them hoped they would marry and have kids one day. Probably one or two of them dreamed of living in Africa. How can all of that just be taken away in an instant?

I hear of these things happening and I want to fly there to help but what can I do? I feel so frustrated and small and powerless. What can I do in the face of all this sorrow?

There was this blurb that 8 helicopters were being taken out of Afghanistan to help in Pakistan. Does anyone else think it's crazy that the world is fighting-that we are killing each other for causes that I don't even understand. Is it land ownership, oil, idealogy? What is it exactly that makes all of this human-created death justifiable? I understand that it's complicated, etc... but I'm saddened that we can only spare 8 helicopters for Pakistan because the others are busy with military operations in the middle east.

My very wise friend would probably tell me at this point that if I dwell in this, I won't be of much use to anyone. That my questioning the purpose and plan of all things will simply make me crazy and not actually improve anything. She's right. But how can I go about my days, worrying about my little ambitions, my job when it's all so very unimportant. Except isn't that what I'm sad that people have lost...their little lives that are so incredibly precious to them?

My life is precious to me, even though it is less than a dot on the map of human existence. If I didn't feel that way, I would not care if others died or the world was crashing down about me. Truly living my life, giving and taking as much joy as possible each day is what gives me the compassion to want that for others and to be saddened when that is denied them.

It's late and there is a relatively good chance that none of this makes sense. I question whether or not to publish it on my blog. But does it actually matter? What am I afraid of? That someone will know that I have these feelings, that someone will tell me I'm being simplistic...that I'll feel a fool tomorrow? Why is it so incredibly hard to reveal one's true self?